Murphy's Laws on Croquet

LAW 1:

No matter how bad your last stroke was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire at rover hoop, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of the tournament, summer and, eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2:

Your best game of croquet will be followed almost immediately by your worst game ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 3:

Imported croquet balls are hoop-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the imported balls, the greater they are inclined to stick on the hoops.

LAW 4:

Croquet balls never bounce off the hoops back into a hoop running position. If one does, the hoop is breaking a law of the universe and should be replaced.

LAW 5:

No matter what causes a croquet player to muff a shot, his partner and all the spectators must solemnly chant, "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.

LAW 6:

The higher a croquet player's handicap, the more qualified he or she deems him/herself as an instructor.

("A little piece of nonsense", adapted by Creina Dawson so as to suit the game of croquet)